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Meet the women who won't have babies - because they're not eco friendly

By NATASHA COURTENAY-SMITH and MORAG TURNER
Last updated at 22:05pm on 21st November 2007

Comments (30)

Had Toni Vernelli gone ahead with her pregnancy ten years ago, she would know at first hand what it is like to cradle her own baby, to have a pair of innocent eyes gazing up at her with unconditional love, to feel a little hand slipping into hers - and a voice calling her Mummy.

But the very thought makes her shudder with horror.

Because when Toni terminated her pregnancy, she did so in the firm belief she was helping to save the planet.
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Desperate measures: Toni Vernelli was steralised at age 27 to reduce her carbon footprint.


Incredibly, so determined was she that the terrible "mistake" of pregnancy should never happen again, that she begged the doctor who performed the abortion to sterilise her at the same time.


He refused, but Toni - who works for an environmental charity - "relentlessly hunted down a doctor who would perform the irreversible surgery.


Finally, eight years ago, Toni got her way.

At the age of 27 this young woman at the height of her reproductive years was sterilised to "protect the planet".

Incredibly, instead of mourning the loss of a family that never was, her boyfriend (now husband) presented her with a congratulations card.


While some might think it strange to celebrate the reversal of nature and denial of motherhood, Toni relishes her decision with an almost religious zeal.


"Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet," says Toni, 35.

"Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, and adds to the problem of over-population."

While most parents view their children as the ultimate miracle of nature, Toni seems to see them as a sinister threat to the future.

It's an extreme stance which one might imagine is born from an unhappy childhood or an upbringing among parents who share similar, strong beliefs.


But nothing in Toni's safe, middle- class upbringing gave any clues as to the views which would shape her adult life. The eldest of three daughters, she enjoyed a loving, close-knit family life.

She excelled at her Roman Catholic school, and her doting parents fully expected her to grow up, settle down and start a family of her own.

"When I finished school, I got a job in retail and at 19, I met my first husband," says Toni.

"No sooner had we finished our wedding cake than all our relatives started to ask when they could expect a new addition to the family.

"I always told them that would never happen, but no one listened.


"When I was a child, I loved bird-watching, and in my teens that developed into a passion for the environment as well as the welfare of animals - I became a vegetarian when I was 15.

"Even my parents used to smile and say: 'You'll change your mind one day about babies.'

"The only person who understood how I felt was my first husband, who didn't want children either.


"We both passionately wanted to save the planet - not produce a new life which would only add to the problem."


So, instead of mapping out plans for a family, Toni and her husband began discussing medical options to ensure they would never reproduce.


Toni, from Taunton, Somerset, says: "When I was 21, I considered sterilisation for the first time.

"I'd been on the Pill for five years and didn't want to take hormone-based contraception indefinitely.

"I went to my GP, but she wouldn't even consider the idea.

"She said I was far too young and told me I could 'absolutely not' be sterilised, and that I was bound to change my mind one day.

"I found her attitude frustrating.


"We decided my husband would have a vasectomy instead. He was 25, just a few years older than me, but the GP allowed him to go ahead.


"I found it insulting that she thought that, just because I was a woman, I'd reach a point where an urge to breed would overcome all rational thought."

When Toni was 23, her marriage ended. She says: "We married very young and grew apart."

Toni found herself young, single and with a new life in London, working for an environmental charity.

But while other young women dream of marriage and babies, Toni was convinced it was her duty not to have a child.


She claims she was far from alone.

"Through my job I made many friends who, like me, were more interested in campaigning, trying to change society and save the planet rather than having families of our own.

"We used to say that if ever we did want children, we'd adopt, as there are so many children in need of a loving family.

"At least then, we'd be doing something positive for the world, rather than something negative."

Toni was happy, at last, with fellow environmentalists who shared her philosophy. But when she was 25, disaster struck.

"I discovered that despite taking the Pill, I'd accidentally fallen pregnant by my boyfriend.

"I was horrified. I knew straight away there was no option of having the baby.

"I went to my doctor about having a termination, and asked if I could be sterilised at the same time.


"This time it was a male doctor. I remember saying to him: 'I want to make sure this never happens again.'

"He said: 'You may not want a child, but one day you may meet a man who does'. He refused to consider it.

"I didn't like having a termination, but it would have been immoral to give birth to a child that I felt strongly would only be a burden to the world.

"I've never felt a twinge of guilt about what I did, and have honestly never wondered what might have been.


"After my abortion, I was more determined than ever to pursue sterilisation.

"By then, I had my mother's support - she realised I wasn't going to grow out of my beliefs, and was proud of my campaigning work."

At the age of 27, Toni moved to Brighton, where her dream of medical intervention was realised.

Toni says: "My new GP was more forward-thinking and referred me to hospital. I couldn't wait for the operation."

As Toni awaited the surgery which would destroy her fertility, she met her future husband, Ed, 38, an IT consultant.


"A week before my sterilisation, I went to an animal rights demonstration and met Ed.

"I liked him immediately, and I told him what I was doing straight away - because if he wanted children then he needed to know I wasn't the woman for him," she says.

"But Ed was relieved when I told him how I felt and said he didn't want children for the same reasons."

On the morning of surgery, Ed gave Toni a card saying "Congratulations".

Toni says: "After the operation, which is irreversible, I didn't feel emotional - just relieved.

"I've never doubted that I made the right decision. Ed and I married in September 2002, and have a much nicer lifestyle as a result of not having children.

"We love walking and hiking, and we often go away for weekends.

"Every year, we also take a nice holiday - we've just come back from South Africa.

"We feel we can have one long-haul flight a year, as we are vegan and childless, thereby greatly reducing our carbon footprint and combating over-population.

"My only frustration is that other people are unable to accept my decision.

"When I tell people why I don't want children, they look at me as if I was planning to commit murder.

"A woman who does not have maternal-feelings is seen as some sort of anomaly.

"And a woman like me, who is not having children in order to save the planet, is considered barking mad.

"What I consider mad are those women who ferry their children short distances in gas-guzzling cars."

But Toni is far from alone.

When Sarah Irving, 31, was a teenager she sat down and wrote a wish-list for the future.

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Sarah Irving and Mark Hudson were adamant they would live the greenest possible lives


Most young girls dream of marriage and babies. But Sarah dreamed of helping the environment - and as she agonised over the perils of climate change, the loss of animal species and destruction of wilderness, she came to the extraordinary decision never to have a child.

"I realised then that a baby would pollute the planet - and that never having a child was the most environmentally friendly thing I could do."

Sarah's boyfriends have been less understanding than Toni's, with the breakdown of several relationships.


"I've had boyfriends who wanted children, so I knew I couldn't be with them long term,' says Sarah.


"I've had to break up with a couple of boyfriends because I didn't think it was fair to waste their time.

"In my early 20s I had a boyfriend who I really liked, but he wanted to start a family as soon as possible.


"I was tempted to stay with him and hope he would change his mind, but I knew I couldn't provide him with what he wanted so I walked away."

Sarah started work for the Ethical Consumer magazine, and seven years ago she met her fiancÈ Mark Hudson, a 37-year- old health- care worker.

When they started dating in 2003, they immediately discussed their views on children.


"To my relief, Mark was as adamant as me that he didn't want a family. After a year of dating, we started talking about sterilisation," says Sarah.


"I didn't want to have an 'accident' if contraception didn't work - we would be faced with the dilemma of whether to keep the baby."

While other young couples sit down and discuss mortgages, Sarah and Mark discussed the medical options for one or the other to be sterilised.


"We realised it was a much more straightforward procedure, safer and easier, for a man to be sterilised through a vasectomy than a woman to be sterilised," says Sarah.


"In January 2005, Mark had a vasectomy and we both felt incredibly relieved there was no chance of us having a baby."

Ironically, the couple who have decided to deny themselves children for the sake of the planet, actively enjoy the company of young children.


Sarah says: "We both have nieces who we love dearly and I consider myself a caring, nurturing person.

"My sister recently had a little girl, and that has taken the pressure off me because my parents wanted to be grandparents.

"At first, they were surprised by my decision, but they have never criticised us.

"I'd never dream of preaching to others about having a family. It's a very personal choice. What I do like to do is make people aware of the facts.

"When I see a mother with a large family, I don't resent her, but I do hope she's thought through the implications."

Mark adds: "Sarah and I live as green a life a possible. We don't have a car, cycle everywhere instead, and we never fly.

"We recycle, use low-energy light bulbs and eat only organic, locally produced food.


"In short, we do everything we can to reduce our carbon footprint. But all this would be undone if we had a child.

"That's why I had a vasectomy. It would be morally wrong for me to add to climate change and the destruction of Earth.


"Sarah and I don't need children to feel complete. What makes us happy is knowing that we are doing our bit to save our precious planet."

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30 people have commented on this story so far. Tell us what you think below.

Here's a sample of the latest comments published. You can click view all to read all comments that readers have sent in.

By being sterilised, for whom is the planet being saved exactly? Surely by being alive one is using up resources, so maybe we should all top ourselves to save the planet!

- Rach, Somerset, UK

What a fantastic idea. I admire these couples for sticking to their principles and for their care of the environment. If more of the people who are not really keen on having kids took this route (rather than fulfilling societal expectations of childbirth and child rearing) - we would have a safer and healthier planet to pass on to the generations of the future (raised by parents that truly want to have children).

And quite frankly - there are other people in this day and age who are not responsible enough to have children.

- Anna, London UK

Has this woman seen a psychiatrist? Human life is much more precious than the planet!

- Bobbie, UK

'A woman who does not have maternal feelings.....'You said it Toni. It's not really about saving the planet is it? Be honest, you just don't want children.

- Mary, London

What an inspirational story. We could learn a thing or two from these couples.

- Victoria Williams, Essex

At last, there are others who think the same as me. I decided a long time ago never to breed for two reasons: the negative impact of severe overpopulation and no child is ever going to suffer the hell I went through at school.
It irks me greatly that women who have no desire to have children are treated like lepers and are viewed with discontent by society. I am fed up with people saying I will change my mind. I didn't want children when I was at primary school; I didn't really understand why, but now I definitely know why.
How many times is Helen Mirren asks why she never had children? I have not read one interview with a woman with children asking her why she wanted them.
I thought about sterilisation for a long time. My only concern is not that in the future I will regret the lack of children, but the increase risk of osteoporosis. But I'm still very tempted. Maybe all us like-mined women should form a club?

- Estella, Boston, England

As a mother of one child and expecting my second, life without children now seems inconceivable but maybe you don't miss what you never had nor wanted. I didn't yearn for children until my mid-30s. That aborted child of Toni Vernelli may just have turned out to have been the world's greatest eco-warrior and done more good than harm to the planet. It never had the chance to be anything in the end.

I haven't been on ANY flights in 10 years and I would rather raise a couple of environmentally aware children that might be a benefit to the planet than have an exotic holiday now. My toddler is so much more aware of 'reduce, reuse and recycle' already and with my generation hopefully trying to set a good example maybe life on this planet won't be so bleak. Fair play to these women making a brave decision, maybe working in the environmental industry gave them the push to be sterile as they live and breathe carbon issues day in, day out.

- Mazzaloft, Sunny Sussex by the Sea

My reason for not having kids isn't quite so lofty. I much prefer cats!

- Margaret, Devon

Speechless. Misguided in the extreme. Hey while you are at it why don't you have a female circumcision too?

- Pinkdrummergirl, London

Children are a blessing and also necessary to maintain the population -- so if we all chose not to have children clearly that would be a disaster. However, there are too many of us humans about. Not everyone has a strong need to bear their own biological child -- and for those people, adoption or being a really super aunt/uncle is a noble choice. It's not monstrous to be content to adopt or not to parent at all - it's a personality trait like any other. It doesn't mean you hate children or are a nutter.

- Amanda, San Francisco, USA

So what do these couples want - an uninhabited planet? Stopping having babies isn't the answer to protecting the earth, it's educating our children about the right way to live. Killing a baby, because it's an 'environmental inconvenience' is deplorable. I'm sure that God, although concerned about the world He created, is far more concerned at the vile act carried out against a precious, innocent human life.

- Joy Moore, Bristol

These people should get a life!

- Pat, Lanark

Good for them. These women have made rational decisions based on firmly-held beliefs, and decided to take control of their lives rather than bow to the pressure of so-called "normality".

- Emma, London

Perhaps a suicide pact might reduce the impact on the planet still further.

- Motionless Cat, Kent, UK

Sterlisation I could understand (still not 100% foolproof though). But why not just abstain, or use more than one method of contraception in the meantime? That way there'd be no "accidents on the pill" and unborn babies having to be destroyed. I'm pro-choice, but I'm also pro-responsibility - if she really didn't want to get pregnant - there was a really easy way to prevent it until she could get sterilised - by not having sex or doubling up contraception. More dangerous things than babies going round for those who dont use proper protection.

I also hate to tell them, but I know many women who said they would never have a child, til their "urge to breed would overcome all rational thought".

- Lisa Akrigg, West Yorkshire, UK.

Do these ladies not realise that if we do not have children eventually the human race will come to an end - what then?
God told us to procreate and as He created the world we should listening to His commands. I find this really sad, especially so for all the women who will see this who for whatever reason would love to have a baby and cannot due to infertility of themselves or their husband or due to an illness that makes it too dangerous.

- Lynne, London England

I don't understand... so the world should end after our generation? You don't have to drive an SUV because you have children- in fact you could have one child and show the world by example how to bring up an eco-conscious child. Better to admit they simply didn't want children than to claim they didn't want them because they want to save the earth... Their logic makes drinking Heather's rat's milk sound reasonable.

- Oliver, formerly Reading, UK

"Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet," says Toni, 35.

Well thats depends if you consider your genes to be worth saving for the benefit of the species. It a good job some people did, otherwise we'd all still be running round in bear skins clubbing Woolly mammoths to death and living in caves.

Defeatism masquerading as moral high ground is a sad thing to watch.

- Steve, Lincoln, UK

I respect their decisions, but it is environmentally friendly people like these that this world needs more of in order to save the planet; to try and educate all the mass consumers and lifestyle victims. This world needs children brought up with respect for the enviroment, not kids brought up buy parents who think the way to love their children is to feed them junk and overpackaged food, give them plastic toys and sedentary lifestyles.

- Olivia, Gravesend

What a pair of plonkers!
Still, the world will be a better place without any clones of them in it, so we have to be grateful for that.

- Maggie G, W. London

Thanks God these fools won't pass on the breathtaking stupidity contained in their genetic profile.

- Kenneth, Georgia, USA

How bizarre to say babies 'pollute the planet'! Surely by this logic you ought to commit suicide for the benefit of the planet.
What is the point of saving the planet if there's nobody to save it for? And what a miserable, squalid and agonizing old age we'd all have if nobody had any children to provide the next generation of doctors, wheelchair pushers and bin men!
I think the eco-argument is an excuse.

- Emily, London UK

The population of this planet is far too high, no-one needs to procreate at the rate we are and these young people are to be applauded for the example they have set.

- Andrew Murray, Zurich, Switzerland

Sad but only too true. An example that will soon have to be followed if nature is not to sort out the planet for us at a terrible cost. But there is a catch in this. If the responsible do not breed and the selfish do, where does that lead?

- D.L. Stephens, York, England

I have been saying this for years but people call me selfish when they find out that I don't want kids.
The times I have had to defend myself is staggering, yet it's not considered strange to have kids willy nilly.
Everyone should be able to choose if they want kids or not, but let's not pretend that it's not the ultimate selfish act.

- Kelly Potter, Los Angeles

If someone does not wish to have children, I of coure take no issue with that. But to declare it "selfish" or "morally wrong" to have children is wrong and absurd; it is eco-fundamentalism. Yes, strictly speaking, the drain on the earth's resources would be over if humans went extinct, but that would also defeat the whole purpose. Caring for and preserving the environment is a goal specifically BECAUSE our children will inherit the earth. And as for "man-made" climate change, the jury's still out on that one.

- Dave, Bristol, UK

It is very sad that Toni had an abortion on such a pretext. I wonder if she ever thinks about how old her child would be now. Does her child (now in heaven) appreciate being sacrificed to the eco-Gods?

What is more natural than a mother's love for a child?

- Simon, Albury, Australia

Good for them! There are far too many people, and natural resources are running out. Having children is a selfish act - especially for those who can't financially support them.

- Matt, USA

I really think it's great - less nuts about to breed and spread their lunacy to children.

- Crystal, USA

Fair enought if she doesn't want to have children. However, anyone who was truly committed to saving the planet wouldn't be justifying their right to take regular long haul flight through their "sacrifices" - they just wouldn't be taking long haul flights!

- Cat, Scotland, UK

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